Fake Experts are Dumber than Fake Journalists

Right now the media elites are weeding out the unwelcome candidates–those most likely too rock their boat. If elected, Ron Paul, Mike Gravel, Dennis Kucinich or even John McCain would severely jeopardize the too-comfy corporate lifestyles of FoxNews and other pretend news sources. So the effort to swat these ‘08 boat-rockers into Howard Dean-land is underway. But while people once trusted and believed Bill O’Reilly, they now take his bloviating with a grain of salt. Men like O’Reilly and Sean Hannity can no longer stand alone in their advocacy of blind obedience to authority and unconditional trust in the powerful. So in 2008 FoxNews and their like-minded opponents will call on fake experts to back them up.

Enter discredited pollster Frank Luntz. Luntz gets away with posturing as an expert because he wrote a book called, “Words that Work.” When he made the cable rounds to sell copies of it (a tour that included an appearance on Bill Mahr’s program) Luntz was tauted as a “language expert.” Due to the book’s popularity he’s been a frequent guest on Hannity & Colmes. Unwaveringly, Luntz praises the pro-war/pro-corporation candidates for their composure and rigor; but he’s required to bash all candidates on the Fox Smear List, even when doing so contradicts the tenets his “expertise.”

Last night on Hannity & Colmes, Luntz called Mike Gravel a “humorous interjector.” With a sly smile, Luntz pretended to find Gravel’s interjections endearing, almost cute. The pretend-pollster added, however, that by the debate’s end most viewers “want to hear serious politics.”

So to Luntz, Gravel is not a “serious politician” and none of his accusations about corruption in politics have any merit at all. Luntz–a newly famous talking head who calls himself an expert on whatever topic FoxNews tells him to discuss–would have you believe Gravel’s passionate dissent is just a sham. His rants merely serve to lighten the mood, letting the real contenders catch their breath and reshuffle their index cards.

Sadly, simplistic slander still works brilliantly as a weapon against the trusting American people: report that a particular candidate is a quack, and eventually everyone believes you. But Luntz’s call for Gravel to take himself more seriously is a far cry from his advice to John McCain, whom Luntz claims is TOO serious. Following McCain’s speech, in which the Republican hopeful expressed concern for the environment and also said that we shut down Guantanamo Bay and disallow torture, Luntz said:

“Where’s the passion?…There is no intensity. If he were to sit there and bang on the table or show some emotion… it’s not just the words… It’s also how he presents himself. If you’re going to be the reformer, if you’re going to be anti-status quo, if you’re going to challenge the system, you’ve got to do what I’m doing now. You’ve got to be loud, you’ve got to be tough, you’ve got to be engaged.”

So… Gravel should act more like McCain, and McCain should act more like Gravel?

Wrong. From now on, newscasters should act more like concerned citizens, presidents should act more like proud patriots, corporations more like true capitalists. And their oppressive trifecta as a whole should stop confusing true American ideals with those of the imperialist government they’ve recreated.