Today speech writers put the finishing touches on the sermon Bush will give tomorrow in Minneapolis. The President plans to spend this evening memorizing the speech, asking Karl Rove what the big words mean, and hoping his Texas Rangers without Gagne and Texeira won’t be as hopeless as his presidency without Colin Powell and Richard Clarke.
Between 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, the Virginia Tech massacres, and now the I-35W bridge collapse, Bush has had several opportunities during his presidency to perfect his “compassionate leader” routine. Yet every time Bush saddles up to give a pep talk to a heartbroken community, he manages to sound faker and more annoying than the time before. This weekend we’ll see if he can keep the streak alive.
The president learned after Katrina that playing cowboy is less fun when the “evildoers” are nonhuman and therefore harder to hate and kill. Still, to many people, it’s important that Bush makes an appearance–much as interns and do-bitches are required to attend company meetings even when everyone knows they have absolutely zilch to contribute. So here comes the dog-and-pony sideshow, complete with the media dramatizations implying Bush’s tardy arrival in the North Star state represents some sort of turning point:
“The President will arrive on Saturday morning to inspect the damage.”
Funny, I assumed all those who were qualified to “inspect damage” had already begun doing so. By now much of the debris made its way downstream, and anything salvageable has either been saved or perished; answers and hidden clues are probably floating somewhere around Arkansas. What practical purpose is served by Bush flying to Minnesota now? Must we be subjected to yet another johnny-come-lately presidential performance, where Bush 43 once again does the He-Man strut over the rubble of another grieving American city? What new insights might arise from Bush’s so-called inspection?
“Yep–reckon yer bridge done fell down in that there lake, fellas.”
No answers, no explanations, just publicity. A recent post on Jonestown, “Bridge in Minneapolis Collapses, Bush Vows ‘Quick Response,’ Hell Freezes Over,” put it best:
“I really admire Bush. I really do. He is the most consistent Mother Fucker I’ve ever seen. He doesn’t give a shit about anything, and I mean anything. You know how hard that is? Even Bundy loved something, Porno I think.”